It does not take much effort to find stupidity across the interwebs these days. Headline after headlines will offer a ridiculous premise based upon some insignificant feature that nobody pays much attention to.
Here’s an example. What’s the Apple Card’s best feature?
Credit limit? No, of course not. The built-in chip? Nope. The fact that the Card changes color when it touches denim or leather? Maybe. It depends upon the color. Security? Interest rate? Cashback? Purchase details?
Now we’re talking, but, again, no.
What is it?
I spent a few days using the Apple Card, and the design is easily its best feature
My Apple card resides in my billfold and my iPhone Wallet and I don’t think design is the best feature. Thanks to Apple Pay there is almost no need to take the Card out of my billfold.
There must be something else? Titanium?
I like the design a lot — I mostly ordered the card because I liked how it looked, so I don’t know if I’ll use it that much. It’s minimalist, with only a name, payment chip, and Apple logo on the front. The card is slim, but it feels noticeably sturdier than my other cards.
The design? How it looks? Not how it works?
Gimme a break.
Look, the Apple Card’s best feature should be obvious. Titanium.
Sure, Apple Card is a pristine white with a minimalist look uncluttered by text or crazy designs, but titanium means the card is weighty– and stiff. And a stiff credit card is perfect for breaking and entering.
How many times have you seen some criminal or detective or even a doctor from House break into a building or home by sliding a credit card between the door and lock– deadbolt or otherwise– with just enough force to slide the locking mechanism back so the door opens?
That method is not so easy in real life because plastic is, well, it’s plastic; somewhat soft, not so stiff, easily bent, not so easy to grip the lock’s bolt. That titanium Apple Card is a whole different animal.
Apple Card is stiff, to the point of being a solid piece of metal posing as a credit card; a card that is perfectly capable of breaking and entering, of turning you from a hipster to a career of thievery.
Whip out Apple Card, slide it into the door lock, press against the lock and move it away so the door becomes unlocked. What an ingenious, multi-purpose design.
Other than a lengthy sentence for breaking and entering, there’s no limit to what you can steal and no monthly payments. How is this not the coolest tool Apple ever made?